I’m Done With Chemo. . . For Now


Feb 14, 2018:

I'm done with chemo for now. I know I say that a lot. Yes, I’ve been in remission about four or five times now. I rang the bell. I’m done with that silly bell. It’s for some, but It’s not for me. I'll take a pill (I'm not done researching that) and see my doctor once a month. I was hoping it was every two. I got greedy. But if you believe in this sort of thing, which I know you do. . . God revealed to me today that my battle with cancer is not over. I'm rethinking that word battle! It doesn't really fit my particular situation, now does it? It was total surrender and I reaped that benefit, in utter joy and revelations I couldn't have dreamed up. What a sweet day it was. Gosh, I have a sweet life. I'm so happy. Here and There! I'm just grateful that I know it!

 
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He hasn't let me cry once for Myself. And I'm a pretty big crier. I just don't see anything so sad or bad to cry over. It's all been blessing after blessing. I've seen and now know things I never would have experienced. Thank you, Jesus. I'll take it! Once you have a “Steven” deal, everything changes. It's all about how you respond and how you look and accept the new realities God has for you. 

I had God in a box. I expected certain ways. I needed to be soft and open so God could heal me ANY way He chose. I had to Know full out that He Can Do Anything. He is limitless. He isn't just what I've been taught or what I knew of him. He's MORE! So much more. I can't even take it in. He made me a whole new person, yet again. He saves me over and over. He loves me. 

We, seemingly broken people… me and Mary (my pastor's dying, cancer filled mom) and Avonlea and Evangeline (two Trisomy 13 babies in my life) and countless others, are whole and perfect and beautiful. And we, with the sweet distinctions God gave us, are used by Him as his hands, his smile, his touch, even our tiny and hurt bodies to love on others as He sees fit. 

I'm honored and humbled that He chose me to carry my cancer for a while, even if I do take baby steps into bravery. I know His timetable isn't my timetable, but I have to say, I'm a bit anxious to see what He does with all that He's given me. Evangeline and Avonlea have already done the same. They're boasting on God without them even knowing it. May God bless them both for years and years to come. 

Thank you for putting up with my babbling. I really tend to get this way every chemo day, when I'm privileged to have spent hospital time with Jesus! Wow. What a day! I love you all. Happy Valentine's Day.


A response from a young Friend:

Love you momma Donna. Happy Valentine’s day to you. I wish more people “babbled” like you. “Become like a child…” The “meaningless” babbling of children is full of more meaning than most “logical” speaking of adults.

Me:

You're a beautiful human, My Friend.

My young friend:

And you are admirably perceptive. Thanks for your encouragement. It's a sip of water in a hot amusement park when you can't afford a soda. Or a dessert.

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