Little Miss Sassy Pants
February 11, 2020
I prayed over this chemo day, that God would meet me here. I’m not sure what to make of it though. I was taken to the back wing today. I was there only once before for infusion. It’s much more open and clinical, less cozy, though I’m not sure the other wing would be called cozy by anyone but me. I’ve had some really warm, fuzzy moments over there.The only chair open was near the sink, glove dispenser, and hazardous waste disposal boxes. As I began to get still, I knew this was going to be challenging, as I’m very easily distracted. It was very busy and full of conversation, where I was located. I was a bit impatient and frustrated with the situation. I wanted to get in a better place in my head and accept and embrace this, as the perfect plan from God for this day and accept the fact that a typical chemo day experience may not occur.
I’m really not a rude, obnoxious, or unkind person, but I found myself being a little miss sassy pants today. Fortunately, no one heard me, at least I don’t think anyone actually heard me, even though I was talking to them. I was talking out loud. I was making comments on everything I heard people saying. My hearing was extremely heightened. Our infusion chairs, in that wing, are pretty separated from each other. I guess I could be justifying my behavior or just plain hoping that I hurt no one’s feelings, by responding out loud to their words and private conversations, with the folks that came to keep them company.
I don’t know what came over me, to be so bold with my facts, and I know them to be facts, not my beliefs. Folks were just saying the most erroneous, ignorant, and foolish things. They were “quoting'“ the Bible and I said out loud to myself, “Nope, that’s not in the Bible.” There were three or four of these moments. They totally believed they were quoting scripture. They were also saying false things about health, foods, medicines, and technologies. It was making me crazy. I couldn't relax and be still. I wanted to stand up and ask them where they got their information. Who is telling them this stuff?!
These are some of the things I was hearing…
“When God closes one door, He opens another.” Not in the Bible. I told them It was actually a quote from Alexander Graham Bell. “God helps those who help themselves.” Nope! Not in the Bible. Actually a quote from Algeron Sydney. I told them they probably read it in Poor Richard’s Almanac by Benjamin Franklin. “God won't let you destroy your enemies when you make them your friends.” That’s not in the Bible either. Abraham Lincoln said that.
Then they said this nonsense…“Mercury is just like iron or magnesium, another needed mineral.” Oh my goodness. I’m almost in tears for them. “Celery is just water, you get nothing out of that. Same thing with mushrooms, useless.” Oh, you just wait till you find out the time you’ve wasted, my friend.
This was a good one…“Can I pick anything up from McDonald’s for anyone? I’m picking up some burgers for us.” Noooooo! We’re already sick enough, people! I told them 85% is meat filler and pink slime cleansed with ammonia, all of which causes cancer.
“You really need to get a fluoride system in that well.” Okay, here we go. I told them it eats holes in concrete, but yeah, go ahead and put that in your drinking water. “Here, use these new Airpods I got you. Are they okay for me? Totally, so much more convenient.” No! I told them that the EMF’s go right through your brain, affecting your neurotransmitters. They mess with your memory, nerves system, immune system, brain chemistry, and more.
Then it hit me…
DONNA, STOP! Pray over these people! Love on them, right now! Where they are, I once was! They are exactly where God wants them to be right now. They are on their own journey. They must walk the steps necessary, for their own growth, for their own healing, on their own level.
I felt I learned a measure of grace-giving and patience today. Also, a good deal of a lesson on humility and seeing my brothers and sisters through God’s eyes and cueing into God’s timing. Just because I want what’s best for them now and want them to understand more about so much, it doesn’t mean God thinks it's best for them right now.
I'm consoling myself with the fact that no one really heard anything I said out loud to them. I may be kidding myself, but I gotta go with it.